| Generate Your Own "VH1: Behind the Music Special" -- Why wait until you're bankrupt and alone? by MilesToGo13 |
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| Username | |
| You rose to stardom... | in the durrrty south clubs of Atlanta, where you gained immediate success with your audiences by setting effigies of Lil' John on fire and putting him out with glasses of cheap beer (or what everyone hoped was beer) while screaming "Wwwwhat?!" and jumping up and down on his spleen. |
| Your first big break came in the form of... | your best friend and co-lyricist getting caught in the bedroom of a record executive's daughter, leaving your demo CD behind along with his pants, shirt, shoes, and dignity as he dove out the window and into the holly bushes below. |
| Your career reached an all-time high after... | an NBC technician accidentally put the uncensored version of your tour DVD into the machine when he was supposed to be cueing up a presidential press-conference, breaking into the regularly scheduled programming just as the intro reached that really good part with the roadie, the eight-ball of coke, and the donkey. |
| Your recreational activity of choice on tour was.. | having groupies wrestle various dangerous animals for your entertainment in a crude gladiatorial style arena that the road crew was required to construct for you at every stop, or else you wouldn't go on stage. |
| But then, tragedy struck, when... | after consuming what can only be described as a heroic dose of meth, heroin, and X before a show, your lead guitarist actually explodes at the height of his most intense solo. |
| You were crushed, filling your days with... | reality television, quietly wondering to yourself if there's a time restriction on how long your career has to have been in the "quiet desperation" phase before you can try out for the Surreal Life. |
| But then, your savior came along in the form of... | valley_grrl |
| These days, you spend most of your time... | working as a television evangelist for the Trinity Broadcast Network, having found out that they get more play, make more money, and score better drugs than you ever dreamt of as a rock star. |
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lizzybobizzy) wrote,
